It's always easy to want to take the easy way out. But what happens after that? Are you just going to be in a state of inertia and not try something new? This happens to me a a lot, sadly. I'm always in my own little bubble where I'm very comfortable in, so probably that's why I'm not moving forward. 

I've to live life as it is, and not to be doubtful about myself. The first step is always the hardest, but once that step is taken, everything just comes naturally and goes on auto mode. 

I've gotta trust myself! I'm the one person who knows myself the best. My flaws, my strengths. Sooooooo, I should know what to work on. 

Argh this is getting too emotional :'(  It's so maddening to feel useless at this time of the night. 

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Writing essays ain't easy at all. I feel like tearing my head apart!!! Wth...after so many years of not coming up with essay plans and points and introductions and conclusions, I'm kinda stuck at writing essays. The last module, which I took which involved writing essays for the final exam, I did not do well. Luckily I could S/U. And there was I, thinking how tough Pharmacy is. Pfft. Now I realise studying really isn't easy. 

Looking back, failing a primary school math test wasn't too disappointing at all. I could still vividly recall how upset and demoralised I was when I was the only person in the class who failed the Math exam in primary 5. But fuck, I still got promoted to primary 6 what. As I grew up (and also acquiring tons of knowledge along the way), I realise how difficult it is to keep up that level of 'smartness' I have/had. I feel I'm getting more and more 'stupid' as I grow up. Or is it that the world is becoming too complicated for me to comprehend?